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and you deserve to be loved!!! you deserve to have someone you're willing to spend the rest of your lives with too!! or like just someone you'd want to take on museum dates, cafe hopping, movie dates, picnics at a park, long drives to the beach, someone to share the last slice of pizza with, dance in the rain with!! someone you can feel the fleeting feeling of love with. i hope the universe becomes more kinder not just to me but also to you guys.

have you liked anyone you're willing to risk everything for? i hope you do, i hope you know you're allowed to like someone, to love someone, despite all the eyes watching you from every corner, despite the media waiting to exploit you. It also just makes me sad because, i rarely have intense feelings for another human being and once i do it's so hard to get rid of it and why did it have to be someone so unreachable again this time? :((((( i hope the universe conspires for the two of us or something. i have dreams about her sometimes and i do daydream about meeting her and shit and now it's sounding so weird. it seems so impossible and i can only hope. i keep thinking how the hell are we supposed to meet and get to know each other. still, i'm trying to figure myself out but yeah i like boys and girls and everything in between and generally just people i can like or love.Īnyway, going back, i really want her to be my girlfriend. I'm not labeling myself at the moment honestly even though i kind of feel comfortable identifying as a pansexual. never had thoughts of how am i going to explain to my mother i wanted to date a woman, the nervous feeling of coming out to the people around me. i have never felt this kind of attraction to a woman before in my life. i even made a playlist on spotify dedicated to her and i listen to it every single day. So yeah, i watched one of her games with a friend last april 8 and since then i couldn't stop thinking about her. She's a volleyball player, quite famous not only because she's really good at the sport and not only because she's pretty and charming, but also because of her past relationship which kind of like became a loveteam of sorts. i badly want her to date me, if that doesn't sound very weird to any of you.

Have you ever been attracted to a person so bad after seeing them the first time? have you ever been so invested at a person who doesn't even know your name or if you even exist? well, i know we experience this towards idols and celebrities and somehow this person i'm attracted to is a celebrity. a feeling that's been running on my mind 24/7. more like a feeling that's been bugging me for weeks. I know i haven't written anything for so long but here i am, about to rant about my feelings.

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